Written by Joe Monday, 09 July 2012 11:43
Coming out of the courageous and bravest thing one can ever do. There is a big fabulous world out there, but as a newbie there are some things that one needs to know. When I came out of the closet I felt damn fabulous. I was naïve and not really experienced and in regard to that I made mistakes that really make me regret. Having learnt it the hard way, I wouldn’t want anyone to go through the same experience that I went through. Hence the reason why am sharing what I learnt from the mistakes I made, so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes I did too. I believe people learn from other people’s mistakes and I too expect you too to learn from my experience.
First take it slow, you’ve got all the time in the world. When you come out of the closet you want to experience everything, but remember there is plenty of time. Stereotypically, newbies tend to be abit well and crazy too. You don’t deserve to be that newbie! Don’t be the person who is trying to cram 15, 20, or 25 years of gayness into one weekend. It’s pretty good if you take your time, enjoy yourself and try to get out of trouble.
Since you are new to this, try to avoid serious relationships. I made this mistake and I sincerely regret it to date! I found it to be the same as anything in life, you really don’t need to jump into a relationship just when you are starting out a new chapter in your life. You’ve been openly gay for all of five second, enjoy it. Figure out who you are and how you fit into the gay community. Don’t rush into a relationship with the first person who gives you the time of day. Often, when newbies enter into relationships, they have a bit of a “hero worship” problem with their partner, viewing them as someone who can do no wrong since they have been out of the closet longer and have more experience. I actually advise you to be your own person before you try to couple yourself with someone else.
It’s quite important to protect yourself. You may be new to this thing, but you are still not invincible. Just because it’s your first time, it doesn’t mean that it’s anyone else’s first time. Always use protection. Carry it around with you at all times. It may sound paranoid to say, but trust no one. You may not feel naïve and innocent, but in many ways you are naïve and innocent.
Always be smart and safe. There are a lot of danger situations out there just and always waiting for you: drugs, cruising, group sex and more drugs. Be mindful of your surroundings. Keep your wits about you, and avoid situations that can lead to too much trouble.
Finally watch yourself. You may still be reeling with the feeling of freedom from coming out of the closet, but don’t forget that not everyone is not as accepting of gays as your friends and family members. It’s a dangerous world out there and you need to be mindful of what it’s like to be out of the closet in the real world.
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